Score: 7

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT"

submission: Zombie Exploder

date: November 6, 2009

Way too laggy! This game badly needs some optimizing. Even at the low quality it was put in, it ran slowly from about floor 10 on. Can't remember exactly where it started. Perhaps an option to turn the giblets and gore off? It was a great game, when it didn't lag! The lag also caused it to suffer from what will now be known as control tracking, that is, when you press the button, it keeps going, even when you take your hands off the keyboard, and pressing other buttons only makes it worse. This can be fixed by waiting until it stops, but it's fucking annoying. Another thing you can add is about five seconds of invincibility after freeing yourself from the embrace of a zombie. Seriously, I died quite a few times because I got away from one zombie with very little stamina, only to get caught by another. Anybody who complains about the realism of that should stab themselves in the eye with a coat hanger, because in this game, you're going down a building, punching every zombie in your way until they explode, and doing it all with your bare fists. Not very realistic to begin with.
If you'd correct those problems, this game would be so much better. Seriously, it was a fun game, and the mechanics, save for a few things mentioned earlier, work pretty well. But the lag. Oh God, the lag. It causes all sorts of problems and breaks the game, and that just ruins it for me.
Oh, and one last thing, on floor 18, I finished the level, but could not advance to the next one. I ended up returning to the main menu and starting the level again, but that did fix the problem, and I did manage up until the fourth floor, at which point, the game was so frustratingly broken, I got mad and quit.

Score: 10

"Great! Needs Slight Polishing!"

submission: Inculcation

date: October 28, 2009

Alright, what to say about this game? Excellent! The art, gameplay, and atmosphere are all perfect. So what is there to gripe about? Two things.
First, in the first house, in the room with the swivel chair, I had trouble with the needle and lock puzzle. I thought I was supposed to avoid the tumblers with the needle, not my cursor. Minor issue, but still.
Second, some rooms were way too dark. I could barely see anything, and that shouldn't happen. The darkness level is something that was pulled off perfectly with The Ambridge Mansion, and even better in Exmortis, but, sadly, most designers think dark is equal to pitch black.
Otherwise, awesome. It was genuinely scary. Keep it up!

Score: 9

"Fucking Awesome!"

submission: Pandemic: American Swine

date: September 12, 2009

I'll probably get loadsa flack for saying this, but this is far superior to Pandemic II, mainly because you can actually beat this one. Pandemic II would've been better, had some of the rules not made sense! But this review is not about that game, so...
It is different from the other games in the series, but that's alright with me. Of course, there is this one thing that really, really bothers me. Once, I was playing, and Wyoming got infected. Now, at the time, none of the surrounding states were infected, it wasn't near either of the two borders, it was in a landlocked area, and there were no airports. How the bloody fuck did this happen?!? Because of that, Idaho got infected. Then, on day 35, I believe, Washington got infected. On day 39, the only state still infected was, you guessed it, fucking Washington. And I did everything I could think of, but Washington's infected lasted until the timer finally hit 40, and I fucking lost, all because Wyoming got infected completely out of the blue. Also, I can never seem to have enough money, and the game never allows you to have a bottomless deficit like in real life. I would suggest a constant negative news report whenever our funding was negative, and have it increase as the deficit increases. Otherwise, great game.

Score: 10

"This Game is Awesome!"

submission: AO: War on Iraq

date: July 27, 2009

Folks, this game does NOT endorse killing. I really hate having to say this. In fact, this is the sort of thing This entire site was founded on. Don't hate it because it has a sensitive subject matter.

Score: 8

"Good! But... GRAH!"

submission: NG Level Icon Maker V2

date: July 15, 2009

You need to make the viewer better. I can't even find mine! Yes, I tried the user uploads device to the right, but it doesn't work! I dunno why, although I did check the spelling, so it's not that. So when browsing by user, could you put letters at the bottom? It'd really help. Also, I'd like the ability to save my level as an image from the actual game.
Otherwise, pretty good. Art's lovely, six backgrounds, plenty of combos, nice secrets, and all the tools we need to create something awesome. Overall, good, but you need to improve the damned viewer.

Score: 10

"May Be a Ripoff of Pandemic..."

submission: Humanity The Armageddon

date: July 8, 2009

But I still think it is way better. Seriously, this version is way easier, way more intuitive, and far more efficient. For the next one, if you have a next one, why not try doing countries instead of continents, and ports to go with the airports? Also, I'd like for people to be able to spread it across borders, a button within the menus (such as the graph menu and graphs) to go back to the previous menu, and a better points system. By that, I mean let us keep getting the same number of points for deaths, no matter how low the population is. And I'd also like for there to be a counter of the healthy population along with the counters in the lower right corner. Also, the first time I played, I won with, like, 58030000000 deaths. Way past Expert rank. I'm fucking awesome. One more thing: The new messages in the box at the bottom need to appear at the TOP of the list, not the bottom. That confused me, a lot. Otherwise, fucking awesome game, effende.

Score: 10

"Fun and Well Animated!"

submission: Desert Dessert

date: June 14, 2009

A great flash for NG, I must say. Funny, well animated, awesome. That's really all I've got to say. Keep it up!

Score: 7

"Good Concept! Needs Improvement!"

submission: Paintsplash

date: June 9, 2009

Very awesome concept. However, I would like to suggest difficulty settings that adjust the amount of colors you use, the size of the canvas, and/or the amount of splashes, progressive levels, and an arcade mode that gives you a random canvas. And I don't mean premade, I mean actually generated on the spot. For your first flash, this is quite good, as is the concept, just improve on it.

Score: 7

"???"

submission: Haven't Got A Prayer, pt4

date: June 5, 2009

I really didn't get the joke in this one. Except for the whole Shinto thing. That one made me laugh. However, this wasn't nearly as good as your previous ones. Also, why didn't you make fun of Shintoism and Buddhism directly? You also forgot Confucianism and Daoism, although Daoism may be too minor of a religion. Also, you didn't make fun of atheism! Come on, man! And I know why you didn't pick on Islam, but come on! If you warn them beforehand, they've really got nothing to complain about! If you're offended by the subject matter, and you've been warned of the content before you watched it, DON'T FUCKING WATCH IT! I wasn't offended by part two at all, even though I'm a Christian (albeit a non-denominational one), and I even found it funny. So why are so many Muslims offended by even the slightest tidbit of negativity? Anyways, back to the animation! The art was good, and, as was true with the others, sound could've been much better. I really like your style. However, this one is inferior to the first three, because I couldn't understand most of the jokes!

Score: 10

"Weird!"

submission: Music Is An Epic Thing

date: May 31, 2009

Yeah, it was good, but it was... weird. Seriously, that's all I gotta say.